Leaving the Fold, A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion

by Marlene Winell, Ph. D.

Reviewed by William B. Lindley


People are not sheep. Some people think they are, especially if the 23rd Psalm is one of their favorites. This book is for those who have separated from a rigid religion and are feeling rather like sheep gone astray. It is a guidebook to help these people become, in their own self-appraisal, the human beings they are.

Unbelievers should be warned that this book is not meant to be used against those who are still comfortable in their religion. While there is lots of material that can be used for religion-bashing, the main point is to heal wounds, not cause them.

The Introduction begins with a bang, exposing the doctrine of original sin as the most harmful aspect of conservative Christianity, saying, "Recovering from this unloving assumption is perhaps the core task when you leave the fold." It also singles out dogma as harmful. "This book is not anti-God, anti-church, or anti-spirituality, but it is anti-dogma.... A dogmatic religion is one that does not truly honor the thoughts and feelings of the individual."

The first part of the book, "Sorting It Out," is a rather miscellaneous review of how people get into religion in the first place, how they break away, and how they put their lives together afterwards. The first chapter gives a brief review of the stages of recovery and of the issues faced; the second chapter is the author's own story. Raised in a missionary family, she was enthusiastically religious from early childhood clear through high school. At college time, she had the choice of going to University of California at Irvine or Oral Roberts University. This was the key decision, and it made all the difference. She chose UC Irvine. (I suspect that her high IQ was the main factor, but she offers other reasons.) Once at UC Irvine, she was exposed to the wonders of the real world—psychology, literature, ideas, people of all sorts—and she never turned back, although it took her ten years to finally get loose of Christianity. The third chapter notes the needs some people have and how religions based on a supernatural concept fulfill those needs. It may be hard reading for freethinkers. The fourth chapter describes the many psychological manipulations believers use on each other to keep them in the fold. In this chapter are a reference to Father Leo Booth's When God Becomes a Drug (reviewed in Truth Seeker, Vol. 120, No. 2) and a revealing quote from Jerry Falwell: "Start your day off by ridding yourself of self-reliance." Chapter 5 deals with breaking away, reviewing the reasons people have for losing their faith and the difficult, often slow process of breaking away. Chapter 6 is on the family background, with horror stories of families adhering to rigid religion and loaded with abuse and cruelty.

The second part of the book is the heart — the healing heart of it. The first chapter, Chapter 7, explores the metaphor of the Inner Child, encouraging you the reader to reestablish contact with your own inner child, who has suffered much of the abuse. It is a very moving and personal chapter. It contains the first of several hypnotherapy exercises. (While to experienced people-helpers and clients, the "inner child" phrase may be a threadbare cliché, Dr. Winell brings forth its value for those of us who are less "sophisticated.") Chapter 8 adds the Inner Adult, the part of you that is in touch with the world of today and knows many things the child did not. The Inner Adult helps, soothes, educates, and offers affirmations to the Inner Child as part of the healing process. Chapter 9 has a great metaphor: the Idea Monster. This is the part of you that has all those nasty "tapes" that rant and rave—you're no damn good, the world is no damn good—supplying details so as to maximize your feelings of inadequacy. The chapter offers excellent ways of talking back to the Idea Monster and sending it back to its slimy cave. Chapters 10 and 11 continue the healing, validating feelings and working through fear, anger, and grief. There is lots of meat in these two chapters.

The third part of the book, called "Growth," is the "advanced course" in recovering from abusive religion. It offers guidance in self—reliance, in living in the here—and—now, in clear thinking, in making choices, and in being creative. It helps clear the remaining roadblocks.

This is an excellent self—help book for those who need to get clear of a background of stifling religion. Some of the hypnotherapy exercises might be a little too much for one to tackle on one's own, and the author does recommend that those under severe emotional stress seek professional help. But to the extent that the sorting out, healing and growth can be done on one's own, this book is a fine companion.

Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell. Copyright ©1993. Published by New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland, CA 94609. ISBN 1-879237-51-2; 297 pp, paperback $13.95.


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